


Transparent Solution

by AnonEhouse



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Bot Feels, Crack, Fluff, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-04
Updated: 2013-01-04
Packaged: 2017-11-23 16:15:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/624091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/AnonEhouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony and Steve are married and looking to expand their family. </p><p>The end note is the prompt, which will spoil the fic if you read it first.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Transparent Solution

(If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated too because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE.)

"You know, Tony, your Tower is awfully big."

Tony waggled his eyebrows at his husband and cuddled closer. "I'm glad you appreciate it." 

Steve blushed. "I didn't mean _that_."

"No?" Tony was distracted by Steve's neck; it needed biting.

"Tony!" Steve rolled Tony onto his back and pressed his shoulders down to the bed. "Can you be serious for a minute?"

"Um... maybe." Then again, Steve's hands were so big and warm.

Steve grinned and leaned down for a quick kiss. "I mean, we should adopt."

Tony blinked. "You want a ready-made family?"

"Yeah. I think we have a lot to offer. But not a baby. I want us to take in someone older, you know, someone who needs a little understanding, someone who can identify with us."

"Someone who's already screwed up enough that I won't damage them, you mean?"

Steve gave Tony the 'you idiot' eyeroll. Tony wasn't sure, but he thought that was Pepper's wedding present to Steve. "You're not damaged, Tony. You're just... experienced...worldly-wise..." And then Steve did something wicked with his hands and all Tony could say to anything Steve wanted was _YES_.

 

Tony really wasn't great at all that emotional stuff, that was what he had Steve for. So, ok, Steve wanted to adopt, Tony would swallow all his protests about neither of them having had great father role-models and believe Steve's insistence that they both have learned what _not_ to do, and would be better able to empathize with someone from a dysfunctional family than anyone else. And when he thought about it, really, they'd be great. What could go wrong? Captain America had all the old-fashioned virtues, and Iron Man all the new-fangled vices, so if one of them couldn't handle a situation, the other certainly could.

 

Then of course, they had a busy few weeks handling assorted megalomaniacs, acts of Gods, mad scientists, and the occasional professional criminal mastermind simply out to make a dishonest living, so they didn't get back to the family expansion pack discussion, but that didn't matter; it was settled in Tony's mind. Steve had gone on about not caring about external appearances or origins or physical or mental abilities or... really, pretty much anything, so when Tony swooped down after the battle and grabbed the ten-year-old who'd been shooting at them at his evil mentor's command, he felt he didn't need to discuss it.

Legally getting custody would have been a pain in the ass. Tony's lawyers, and the evidence of all the spectators filming the fight, would show how obvious it was that he'd done the right thing. In Tony's experience, it was always easier to obtain forgiveness than ask permission. Especially if you applied sufficient financial leverage and had Pepper to work on public opinion.

Reconciling the ten-year-old to the change shouldn't be difficult. Like Steve said, it was what was inside that mattered, and a little patience would fix this poor, messed up kid who'd never been shown a moment's affection, or even a single 'good boy'. He went straight to the workshop, where tantrums were less likely to matter, and set about dealing with the anger issues and assorted other anti-social baggage inflicted on the poor innocent. Steve was right, this was much more satisfying than dealing with an infant. 

By the time Steve returned from debriefing at Shield (Tony got out of that because they were married, and legally one person, so it was redundant for him to report back to Fury, also Steve was so sexy when he described the Avengers' battles that Tony had maybe once or twice inappropriately groped him under the table until Fury threatened something involving tasers and possibly superglue if Tony made an appearance on the helicarrier without express written authorization.)... well, anyway, by the time Steve got back, Tony and the new kid were watching Captain America newsreels in lieu of home movies while Tony tried to explain the concepts of goodness, truth, justice, and only kicking the asses of those who deserve it.

"Hey, Steve!" Tony looked up from the couch, one arm around the ten-year-old's shoulders, other hand waving the remote control for the projector. "Look! We're parents!"

Steve stared at them.

"DADDY!" the ten-year-old said, turning around to face Steve, waving his arms excitedly. The replica Captain America helmet fell off his head, which wasn't surprising, as his head wasn't shaped to fit it.

"Tony," Steve said after his mouth moved several times and nothing came out, "This is why you disappeared after the fight with Doctor Doom?"

"Sure! Instant adoption! He's a great kid. He's ten, and he knows all about shop safety and," Tony said as he made a face, "magic and how to handle any weapon you can name. Doom must have been using him as a personal servant in his castle all these years, until he started to run low on minions and sent him to New York to fight. Vicson... or Fitzvic? I dunno, MacDoom? Anyway, he's gonna fit right into the family here." Tony pointed to the banner above Steve's head. "Congratulations, It's a Bot!"

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this prompt:[ Steve/Tony, clueless Tony adopts a Doombot (crack)](http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/13316.html?thread=30637828#t30637828)  
>  __  
> Steve tells Tony he wants them to consider adoption. Tony isn't exactly surprised that Steve wants to extend their little family, though he had thought that Steve would want him to bring their new little bot into the world himself. Whatever Steve wants though. Next time they have to fight Doom, Tony brings home one of the Doombots to give it a loving home.


End file.
